THEN, more falls onto your plate and you are more deeply overwhelmed with the new roadblocks that stand in your way. Uneasiness follows because all your previous decisions now hinge on this simple fact that the roadblock may cause all your plans to fall through the cracks leaving you with nothing else but an empty plate waiting to be filled with more decisions and a whole new plan. Once these roadblocks sabotage your preparations, you wonder if it's a sign of "that was the wrong decision," or "hold on tighter, you just need to have patience to see everything start to fall into place."
----ok this was a very specific scenario I just described....you may have never felt all these feelings all at once, but I'm sure you've grasped & experienced parts & pieces......
Things "falling into place" is a phrase that has felt non-existent in our lives the past few months, but I guess any pessimist could easily feel that way. It hasn't been until just recently, after looking at our situation in a more "the cup is half full" perspective, that we have seen and felt the generous blessings and can honestly see the step-by-step process of things working out for our benefit. Things that seem weird or "just happened randomly" NOW is evident that we had a higher power looking out for us and we now know without a doubt we've received help from our Father in Heaven this whole time.
These feeling and emotions can sum up the past 6 months for us. I was telling Chase we could write a small memoir of all the blessings, trials, inconveniences, surprises, & tender mercies on this particular season of our lives.
From all the craziness, I'd say we are fortunate that our eyes have been open enough to simply witness the lessons we have learned. These lessons continue to hang over our heads, but not in a haunting kind of way, rather as a blessing to remind us to be grateful in our circumstances no matter what, because quite honestly, things could ALWAYS be much worse-- I mean much, much worse!
And being grateful in our circumstances isn't the only thing to be mindful of-- obtaining hope and faith that everything WILL work out and will eventually start to "fall into place" can bring immense peace, IF you let patience run your way of thinking. Its like putting a ridiculously hard 1,000 piece puzzle together. First you plan how you will start and execute the puzzle. Then you organize the pieces into categories or groups to hopefully keep things easier to handle. Once you start putting pieces together you feel great and the pieces are easily "falling into place."
Quickly you learn that success is short lived and the pieces start to look all the same, you lose any real direction, you get consumed with the overwhelming task of completing the puzzle that you become paralyzed in a sense and you want to quit. It takes a lot of trial and error, patience, & persistence.
After time, that feels like forever and after many moments of wanting to quit, you get a piece in the right spot and then another, and then another.........this slowly but surely causes a little bit of peace & confidence within you that fires the light at the end of the tunnel that makes it seem possible again to complete. The pieces literally start falling into place and you are soon looking at the completed product and reflecting at your recent process and realize how it really wasn't THAT hard. The process just took patience, hope, and some faith. In most cases in life, you know the general destination or the final puzzle and what it should look like, but there are some individual pieces that you swear are from a different puzzle. You are forced to hold on to these unrecognizable pieces until later down the road you start to see why you couldn't use them before. They start becoming bridges to different parts of the picture. Once these puzzle pieces seemed annoying and frustrating but now are very vital pieces to the final product.
Maybe all this is just me up on my soap box ranting about something that makes no sense to anyone. I have felt the need to write these thoughts down because what we go through in life and the feelings associated are short lived in only in those moments. You quickly forget those feelings you previously had and move on to the next phase of your life. That being said, I didn't want to forget these feelings I've written about, not only to look back and laugh at how easy my life was and how sissy I was to cry and endure through it, but also, to strengthen or remind me of how God works sometimes. He is ALWAYS there, if we have patience or not, we will see his hand in all things......
..........eventually! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment